I think South Carolina jails may have gotten a bad batch of anti-psychotic medication. Either that or Michael Vick's life just got a whole lot messier. SC inmate Jonathan Lee Riches has apparently filed a hand-written(for comedies sake, I hope it was on the back of a napkin, written in blood) lawsuit against Michael Vick for $63 billion!!! Riches claims that Vick stole his two pit bulls, pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda, sold the dogs on eBay, and used the proceeds to buy missiles from Iran. You can't make this shit up. Riches wants the money, backed by gold and silver, dropped off at the front gates of Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina where he is an inmate. Riches also pleads that "Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes." This brings up another concern...how is Michael Vick physically hurting Riches feelings? There's really only one explanation: Vick is a super secret ninja master who has been mind-raping Riches. And you know Vick must be a powerful Ninja, since even from Atlanta, he has been able to penetrate the walls of the medium-security prison in Salters, SC(300+ miles away) and psychologically sodomize Riches.
Of course this story is from Fox News, so it's possible its all a Democratic conspiracy to destroy America.
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