It's Back

It's here. It's almost too soon. I've barely had time to recover from season one, but Bret Michaels is desperate for love, and there is another batch of hair-band whores ready to do anything, and I do mean anything, to be #3 in the threesome with Bret and that hard core bitch of a mistress Rock-n-Roll. So on Sunday, while you're on the sofa recovering from two drunken days of NFL playoff action, basking in the silvery glow of the television reflecting off of empty Rainier tallboys, use some of that last bit of energy to change the channel over to VH1 for the first episode of Rock of Love 2. This is what your mother was talking about when she warned you that TV would rot your brain, and it is glorious. Besides, what else are you going to watch? American fucking Gladiators?

Fuck, speaking of American Gladiators, that was fucking awful. I heard the bad reviews, but still I thought "Well of course its bad, thats what's going to make is so awesome." I was confident that it would be intensely entertaining, if only for the unintentional comedy. I was wrong, it is indescribably unwatchable. I couldn't even make it through the first episode. I tried though, god I tried. When I saw Hulk Hogan flexing and admiring his reflection in the camera lense while Laila Ali was talking I thought maybe. Then we got the contender introductions. The only possible explanation for these ridiculously sappy sob stories, is that they told these people they were actually going on Oprah. I still had hope though. After all, this had been a staple of my young television life. Even now, the reruns on ESPNClassic have aged gracefully and still offer an hour of solid entertainment and a time machine to simpler times. Then Hulk began interviewing contenders without questions! I don't know if this is an effect of the writers strike or not, but holy shit, every time Hulk opened his mouth I cringed. By the time we lost a contender to injury(in fucking powerball no less! at least go down in something cool like joust or breakthrough and conquer) and had to listen to her bawl about letting her kids down, I had given up all hope. I stuck around long enough to watch a gladiator go down to injury as well before turning it off and canceling all future tivo recordings.

That being said, I would still do dirty dirty things to Crush.

Edit: MMA Takedown has the photos from Gina Carano's (aka Crush) recent Maxim shoot