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Monday, January 14, 2008

Down to 4!

Green Bay 42, Seattle 20: I wonder how many people got up Saturday, saw the weather in Green Bay and bet the hell out of the under? I would've, except I got caught up watching Slap Shot before the game and didn't see the weather until it was too late. I gotta say that's the first time a Paul Newman movie has saved me money. Despite an early 14 point lead thanks to two Ryan Grant fumbles, the Seahawks fans knew they were doomed when Brett Favre completed a falling down shovel pass to Greg Jennings on third down that eventually led to another Ryan Grant TD. When plays like that are going Favre's way, the Packers don't lose too often. On the bright side, Josh Brown and his toasty 75 degree legs were perfect on field goals and PAT's. With the Cowboys losing, a Green Bay Super Bowl appearance is looking more and more likely.

New England 31, Jacksonville 20: Jacksonville put up a very respectable showing, but couldn't maintain their momentum in the second half. Anyone else think the decision to not try and score before halftime was stupendously idiotic? You tied the game at 14 and then got the ball back thanks to a missed field goal by the Patriots. Up to this point you've been moving the ball pretty well and you've got almost a minute left. If you can move the ball down and even get a field goal you take all the momentum into halftime. Instead it was almost like they said "Hey, we're tied with the Patriots at halftime. That's a moral victory in and of itself, so why don't we all go warm up and celebrate." And whaddya now, the Patriots come out of halftime and score a quick touchdown and all of a sudden the crowd is going nuts and the Jags are pissing down their legs and settling for field goals. I bet even Gregg Easterbrook's 4 year old nephew wrote "game over" in his notebook.

On another note, I hope you saw Tom Brady's AMAZING fake direct snap thingy they tried. Seriously man, I had no idea where the ball was, it was like the ball just disappeared. For some reason all the sportscasters are still talking about this. Jim Nantz(or maybe it was Phil Simms, I don't remember) even went so far as to praise the Jags for recovering from the AMAZING FAKE and getting back to cover the pass. First of all, the pass was completed, so they didn't cover it all that well. Second of all, they got back and covered the pass well BECAUSE NOBODY WAS FAKED OUT!!! Seriously, if Tom Brady was throwing a tennis ball to a golden retriever and executed a fake throw as well as the fake they did Saturday, the dog wouldn't even move. He'd just sit there and say "what the fuck was that man, quit waving like a dipshit and throw the goddamn ball" (that is, assuming the dog could talk).

San Diego 28, Indianapolis 24: It's very comforting to see our old friend the Peyton Manning Playoff Face. I was afraid we'd seen the last of it when PeyPey took home a ring last year.

It's time for another Peyton Manning Priceless Pep Talk!

Peyton: So you're bummed out about being outplayed by a giant flaming bag of douchiness(and said bag of douchiness' backup) in a playoff game? Well were you at least playing hurt? No? Maybe you were facing a team with a great coach and a history of winning big games? No? Well they must've had one of the games all time great running backs. Oh he got hurt in the first half when you still had the lead. Hmmm, well then I'd say you should probably just put on your saddest, most pathetic face and go watch you're little brother try to get to the Superbowl in only his 4th year. Don't forget to blame your receivers and linemen before you go.


New York Giants 21, Dallas 17: That wasn't a dream was it? Did Eli Manning really just win his second road playoff game in a row? There's only one explanation: Eli's new playoff beard(OK, maybe "beard" is too strong a word. How bout "playoff five o'clock shadow"? I've seen 16 year olds that can grow more facial hair) Shit, Yoko Romo Jessica Simpson even skipped the game to avoid jinxing Tony Romo. Although to be fair, the New York Post did hire a Jessica look-a-like and bought her tickets right behind the Dallas bench to try and throw off Romo's game. It was enough to make TO cry after the game(seriously). And if the Giants front office is wondering what that humongous gift basket that showed up this morning is, it's just a little token of thanks from Brett Favre and the Packers. If you're lucky they'll give you guys some tickets to Phoenix so you can watch Brett Favre play in the Super Bowl.

Edit: Here's a link to Deadspin's post on TO's cry session

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