Don't do it Blazers

Yahoo! Sports is reporting a possible 3-team trade that would send the Nets Jason Kidd to Dallas. The details aren't clear, but supposedly would mean the Blazers giving up Jarrett Jack, Travis Outlaw(NOOOOO!!!), and Channing Frye. So far the only player named that would be coming to Portland is Dallas PG Devin Harris. I don't see a chance in hell of the Blazers getting involved in this trade. Think about it. You really think the Blazers are going to give up 2 of their best bench players(Jack and Outlaw) for another point guard? I could maybe see a trade involving Jack since the Blazers have a ton of talented young PG's(Blake, Sergio Rodriguez, and Rudy Fernandez -- who's finishing up his european contract this year) and maybe even the new guy Frye, but they aren't going to deal two quality forwards just to add another young PG. Especially one that's hurt and won't be back until probably late February. There isn't anyone that the Nets or the Mavericks could add to the deal who could replace the scoring and the enthusiasm of Outlaw except for possibly Richard Jefferson, and I don't see the Nets gutting their team like that or the Blazers taking the risk of ruining the team chemistry they have going on now. And you know Outlaw doesn't want to leave unless Comcast Sportsnet lets sideline reporter Rebecca Haarlow go with him(seriously, watch next time she interviews him after a game, the guy is head over heels). Nate McMillan and Kevin Pritchard have up to this point been pretty adamant that they aren't looking for any trades this year and I don't see anything on the table with this deal that would change their minds.

Blazers split the weekend games

Houston snapped Portland's 12-game home winning streak on Friday night, due in large part to Portland's horrendous second half shooting(23%) and poor rebounding. The Blazers woeful shooting continued into the first half against the Hawks on Sunday, as their 37.5% shooting led to a 15-point halftime deficit. In the second half they came out shooting MUCH better, but Atlanta was on fire and at one point had extended their lead to 19 points. Every time Portland would start to cut into the lead, Atlanta would hit a tough shot to end the run and with less than 7 minutes left and down by 14, it was looking good for the Blazers who were on the verge of losing 3 straight for the first time since they lost 3 to end the month of November. But then the Blazers got hot and Brandon Roy tied the game at 93-93 and then forced Joe Johnson into a poor shot at the other end with just 8.3 seconds left. On the other end, Roy, who almost didn't play due to a fever, once again took the shot and was fouled on the miss. He left the Blazers in a dangerous spot by making only 1 of 2 free throws, but the Hawks missed their final shot to give the Blazers another tight win. The Blazers have played amazingly well in close games this year, going 6-0 in games decided by 3 points or less. This is especially impressive giving the youth of this team.

The End is Near

This is the first weekend without football since back in August, and with only one game left before a long summer broken up by only 728 mock drafts(and 1 real one) on ESPN, it's time to start figuring out how to handle the weekends. I know the lack of football is still fresh in your heart and the pain seems unbearable, but you know what they say: the best way to get over a broken heart is to score a fresh piece of ass. Here's your options...

Australian Open Womens Final



enough said. Check it out tonight at 9:30 ET

NBA Action

The Blazers came off their brutal 7 game road trip after going 3-4. Considering their road record the rest of the year, the length of the road trip, and the fact that their 4 losses came against three 1st place teams and a 2nd place team with a combined record of 112-55 I'd say they gotta be pretty happy with the results. Now the Blazers have 6 home games, starting with Yao Ming and Houston Rockets tonight and then the Atlanta Hawks on Sunday.

If that game doesn't do it for you, there are 12 other NBA games tonight, and 14 more on either Saturday or Sunday

NCAA Basketball

It's never too early to start working on that bracket. Who's in, who's on the bubble, who needs help. You can't expect to win the office pool in March if you don't start boning up on the who's who of college hoops now. Not that any of that will help when JoAnn down in accounting picks the teams with the prettiest uniforms and wins the whole thing again. But that doesn't mean that these games are any less exciting. 8 of the top 10 teams in the nation will play either Saturday or Sunday and with 153 games going on this weekend(I shit you not, I counted. That is amazing) and conference action in full swing there is bound to be some amazing games.

NHL All-Star Weekend

Even without Sidney Crosby, it's still worth tuning in to the NHL festivities this weekend. Check out the NHL Super Skills Competition tomorrow night and then the main event goes down on Sunday. If you ever wanted to see a bunch of Russians, Canadians, and Czechs(with a few Swedes thrown in for good measure) skating around and brawling, it doesn't get any better than this.

Down Under Semifinals

Damn, all tennis should be like that. 3 of the the 4 semifinalists in the Australian Open were Maria Sharapova, Jelena Jankovic, and Ana Ivanovic. Even the fourth semifinalist, an apparently chilly Daniela Hantuchova was nothing to look past. I mean, she ain't no Maria Kirilenko, but I certainly wouldn't throw her out of bed(well, maybe if she was eating crackers or something, but come on - have you ever tried to sleep with crumbs in the sheets?) With the second of the two matches not ending until after 1 AM eastern time, I have to imagine Skinemax ratings were down significantly last night.

Despite her sloppy play, Maria Sharapova(hang on, quick break for a mental image of a sloppy Sharapova...ok, we're good) easily took down a less than 100% Jankovic in straight sets 6-3, 6-1 in a relatively uneventful match. You know, as long as you don't consider two hot sweaty foreign chicks in skimpy tennis dresses eventful. In the second match, it started out looking like another quick win as Hantuchova won the first set 6-0 and jumped out to an early 2-0 lead in the second. Ivanovic was undeterred though, and battled back to win 6-3. Ivanovic then won a hard-fought third set 6-4 to set up a match against Sharapova in what is undoubtedly the hottest Grand Slam final in tennis history. Although you'll never hear me complain about the two straight years(2001 and 2002) of Jennifer Capriati vs Martina Hingis at the Australian Open.

Who's Next?

Pittsburgh athletes have been taking a beating this year. Penguins star(and NHL Savior) Sidney Crosby was the latest to go down, when he suffered a high-ankle sprain early on in a 3-0 loss to Tampa Friday night. Crosby has been added to the injured reserve and will miss 6-8 weeks. With the Penguins in the middle of a heated battle for first place in the Atlantic Division, there isn't much good to say about this. You can keep up to date with Sid's ankle at http://sidsankle.blogspot.com/.

Crosby joins the growing list of Pittsburgh athletes who have gone down this year with serious injuries. Guys like fellow Penguins Marc-Andre Fleury, Gary Roberts, and Mark Eaton. Steelers Willie Parker, Aaron Smith, Max Starks, Marvel Smith, Ryan Clark, and Dan Kreider went down in the NFL and kept the Steelers from rising above mediocrity. Pitt Panthers Mike Cook and Levance Fields also went out, essentially ending any hope of a Panther NCAA title this year. Somebody needs to put all the Pirates under house arrest until this injury bug passes. Actually on second thought, let them out. If they get hurt maybe it will keep the Pirates from trading away all our decent players before the All-Star break.

SB XLII: Patriots vs Packers Giants

Well shit. If I was going to pick an underdog to win yesterday, it sure as hell wouldn't have benn the Giants. Not only did the Giants win their 10th straight road game(an NFL record), but Eli Manning continued his stellar play despite the subzero temps. Eli was the only quarterback that didn't throw a pick yesterday and through the first three games of the playoffs, hasn't thrown a pick yet(I know, I couldn't believe it either). Manning and Plaxico Burress easily went at, around, over, under, and through Packers corner Al Harris pretty much at will, hooking up 11 times for 154 yards while the Packers were never able to get the offense in a groove despite Favre trying his best to get the screen pass to work. Seriously Favre, maybe after the first 4 or 5 were all stopped for a loss you might want to try something else. Maybe give Ryan Grant a few carries her and there. The Giants outplayed the hell out of the Packers, but two late missed field goals allowed the game to go into OT. The Packers got first try at it, but a Favre interception set up a 47 yard field goal by Lawrence Tynes and for the second year in a row, we've got a Manning in the Super Bowl. It was the first ever postseason field goal of more than 40 yards in Lambeau Field.

In the early game, the Chargers put up a valiant effort, but couldn't get it into the endzone and had to settle for 4 field goals. Even with LT on the bench almost the entire game, the Chargers were able to move the ball very well in the first half. Since apparently nobody else is going to mention it, how was the leg-whip on Mike Vrabel not called on the Philip Rivers interception late in the first half? He missed Rivers going down and blatantly swept his legs into Rivers' knees causing him to overthrow the pass right to Asante Samuel. The Patriots quickly scored and the Chargers never saw the lead again. They showed the replay several times and I kept waiting for Jim Nantz to point it out and instead he praised Vrabel's amazing "spin move." I'm not saying it would've changed the final outcome, but that was a huge play that sent all the momentum back to New England. The final straw in the game was Norv Turner pulling a Martyball move and punting on 4th down from the Patriots 36 yard line with less than 10 minutes left and down by two scores. They never saw the ball again. TMQB must've had an aneurysm.

Conference Championships

Damn, if I didn't have 17 weeks of results to prove otherwise, a person might start to think I know what the hell I'm talking about. 3-1 again last weekend and I remained undefeated in the betting picks in the postseason with 2 more payoffs. With only three NFL games to get my bankroll back to even before I can begin throwing it away on basketball and hockey games, we're betting just about everything we can this weekend. All picks are money picks this week.

Playoff Picks: 6-2

Money Picks*

PACKERS -7 over Giants: Eli came through for us again last week, and for the first time in his career he actually looks like he's enjoying himself and is excited to be playing football. But he's not there yet. Beating a Dallas team that's been mailing it in for the last month in a warm weather game is a little different than beating a revitalized Brett Favre on the frozen tundra. Don't feel bad Eli, you've exceeded everyone's expectations this year and even lasted longer than big brother. Packers: 31-17

Packers/Giants over total (39.5): I've been smoking hot on the over/unders all year, and the Packers proved last week that they can put up points in any weather conditions. We're probably gonna need two touchdowns out of Eli to get this done, but I'm confident that this one hits for me.

Chargers +14 over PATRIOTS: This is crazy, even if Philip Rivers was definitely playing(still day-to-day) this would be a foolish bet, but with Billy Volek running a Norv Turner offense with LT and Antonio Gates not at 100% it's bordering on fucking insane. I'm not talking about bungee jumping or eating fugu, I'm talking about 16 skinned, headless bodies in your freezer insane. Like Kevin Spacey in Se7en insane, but what can I say, the voices in my head say go for it. The Patriots have only covered the spread once in their last seven games, but they are still getting inflated spreads thanks to all the early season games when they ran up the score on their opponents. The Chargers defense should be able to keep them mostly in check, and if the Charger offensive line can keep the blitzes off the Volek long enough for him to chuck the ball up, Vincent Jackson should be able to abuse the NE secondary enough to keep this one close. Patriots: 31-24

Patriots/Chargers over total (46): This one pretty much comes down to the Chargers. If they can put up at least 17 points, the over won't be a problem.

2-team teaser: When has a teaser ever NOT paid off. Really it's like taking candy from a baby. A really, really, pissed off baby grizzly with momma backing it up.
PACKERS -1 over Giants
Chargers +20 over PATRIOTS

4-team teaser: That's right bitches, it's time to put up or shut up. Normally I wouldn't publish all my bets, but when you're on a hot streak you gotta chase it until you run out of track.
PACKERS -1 over Giants
Chargers +20 over PATRIOTS
Packers/Giants over total(33.5)
Patriots/Chargers over total(40)



Playoff Bets: 3-0

*Note: 5 out of 5 doctors recommend NOT following this advice. If you value your money at all, you should seriously consider NOT betting on the advice of an anonymous internet blogger.

RIP Ernie Holmes: 1948-2008

Former Steeler Ernie Holmes died last night in a car accident near Beaumont Texas. The 59 year old defensive tackle played alongside, and in the shadow of, famed defensive linemen Joe Greene, Dwight White, and LC Greenwood as a member of the feared Steel Curtain Defense and took home two Super Bowl rings in 1975 and 1976.

Sorry for the downer, but the dude had to be recognized.

Down to 4!

Green Bay 42, Seattle 20: I wonder how many people got up Saturday, saw the weather in Green Bay and bet the hell out of the under? I would've, except I got caught up watching Slap Shot before the game and didn't see the weather until it was too late. I gotta say that's the first time a Paul Newman movie has saved me money. Despite an early 14 point lead thanks to two Ryan Grant fumbles, the Seahawks fans knew they were doomed when Brett Favre completed a falling down shovel pass to Greg Jennings on third down that eventually led to another Ryan Grant TD. When plays like that are going Favre's way, the Packers don't lose too often. On the bright side, Josh Brown and his toasty 75 degree legs were perfect on field goals and PAT's. With the Cowboys losing, a Green Bay Super Bowl appearance is looking more and more likely.

New England 31, Jacksonville 20: Jacksonville put up a very respectable showing, but couldn't maintain their momentum in the second half. Anyone else think the decision to not try and score before halftime was stupendously idiotic? You tied the game at 14 and then got the ball back thanks to a missed field goal by the Patriots. Up to this point you've been moving the ball pretty well and you've got almost a minute left. If you can move the ball down and even get a field goal you take all the momentum into halftime. Instead it was almost like they said "Hey, we're tied with the Patriots at halftime. That's a moral victory in and of itself, so why don't we all go warm up and celebrate." And whaddya now, the Patriots come out of halftime and score a quick touchdown and all of a sudden the crowd is going nuts and the Jags are pissing down their legs and settling for field goals. I bet even Gregg Easterbrook's 4 year old nephew wrote "game over" in his notebook.

On another note, I hope you saw Tom Brady's AMAZING fake direct snap thingy they tried. Seriously man, I had no idea where the ball was, it was like the ball just disappeared. For some reason all the sportscasters are still talking about this. Jim Nantz(or maybe it was Phil Simms, I don't remember) even went so far as to praise the Jags for recovering from the AMAZING FAKE and getting back to cover the pass. First of all, the pass was completed, so they didn't cover it all that well. Second of all, they got back and covered the pass well BECAUSE NOBODY WAS FAKED OUT!!! Seriously, if Tom Brady was throwing a tennis ball to a golden retriever and executed a fake throw as well as the fake they did Saturday, the dog wouldn't even move. He'd just sit there and say "what the fuck was that man, quit waving like a dipshit and throw the goddamn ball" (that is, assuming the dog could talk).

San Diego 28, Indianapolis 24: It's very comforting to see our old friend the Peyton Manning Playoff Face. I was afraid we'd seen the last of it when PeyPey took home a ring last year.

It's time for another Peyton Manning Priceless Pep Talk!

Peyton: So you're bummed out about being outplayed by a giant flaming bag of douchiness(and said bag of douchiness' backup) in a playoff game? Well were you at least playing hurt? No? Maybe you were facing a team with a great coach and a history of winning big games? No? Well they must've had one of the games all time great running backs. Oh he got hurt in the first half when you still had the lead. Hmmm, well then I'd say you should probably just put on your saddest, most pathetic face and go watch you're little brother try to get to the Superbowl in only his 4th year. Don't forget to blame your receivers and linemen before you go.

New York Giants 21, Dallas 17: That wasn't a dream was it? Did Eli Manning really just win his second road playoff game in a row? There's only one explanation: Eli's new playoff beard(OK, maybe "beard" is too strong a word. How bout "playoff five o'clock shadow"? I've seen 16 year olds that can grow more facial hair) Shit, Yoko Romo Jessica Simpson even skipped the game to avoid jinxing Tony Romo. Although to be fair, the New York Post did hire a Jessica look-a-like and bought her tickets right behind the Dallas bench to try and throw off Romo's game. It was enough to make TO cry after the game(seriously). And if the Giants front office is wondering what that humongous gift basket that showed up this morning is, it's just a little token of thanks from Brett Favre and the Packers. If you're lucky they'll give you guys some tickets to Phoenix so you can watch Brett Favre play in the Super Bowl.

Edit: Here's a link to Deadspin's post on TO's cry session

Round 2

I went a solid 3-1 last week, giving me the inevitable boost of confidence I need to royally screw the pooch this week. Here's your divisional round picks.

Jaguars +13 over PATRIOTS: I'm torn. Do I want to see the Patriots do something that will likely never be seen again in my lifetime, if at all, or do I want to see a mass suicide of annoying Boston fans. Well I'm going with the Jags for a few reasons. First of all, I think they match up really well(that has got to be the most overused phrase of the season. There's got to be something better, but I'm hungover so we're just gonna go with it). They've got a punishing run game, the secondary to keep Randy Moss under check, and the defense to keep Brady from getting too comfortable. As the Jags have proven this year, playing in the cold on the road doesn't bother them. They won't be able to let down in the second half against the Patriots like they did in their two games in Pittsburgh though. Plus, if I pick the Jags and they win, I look like a genius, but if I pick the Patriots and they win I'm just another guy who can pick the obvious. Patriots win, but I get the spread. Patriots 31-24.

COLTS -9 over Chargers: How fucking crazy would it be if Norv Turner comes in and takes the Chargers to the big one in his first year after all the shit he took in the first half of the season. Two months ago Marty Schottenheimer was sitting at home chuckling to himself and waiting for the Chargers to beg him to come back. Now he's just hoping that Pete Carroll stays at USC so that maybe the Falcons will throw him a bone. If the Colts hadn't won it all last year, you'd probably have to be liking the Chargers because Manning would still be playing with the stigma of not being able to win the big one. Now though, all the pressure is off him, and he's playing loose and relaxed and confident. With Antonio Gates and Lorenzo Neal gimping and maybe not playing, the Colts win this one and cover. Colts 31-17.

Playoff Picks: 3-1

Money Picks*

PACKERS -7.5 over Seahawks: I wish I could pick the Seahawks, I really do, but I just don't see this one happening. Seahawks are great at home, but they've never traveled well. And while Favre and the Packers haven't been as dominant at home this year as they have in the past, Lambeau Field has got to be one of the hardest places to play a playoff game in the league. With Favre potentially playing the last home game of his career, the Packers and their fans are going to be looking for blood. Plus, I can't - in good conscience - pick a team whose kicker is wearing battery powered pants. That's right, Josh Brown is wearing electric pants that will keep his legs at a balmy 75 degrees no matter how cold it gets in Green Bay. Seriously Josh? Did you just feel that kickers have enough of a tough-guy reputation that announcing the fact that you are going to be sitting on the bench with an electric blanket wrapped around your legs wasn't going to get ridiculed at all? Brett Favre will probably be out there in a short sleeve shirt and you're going to walking around hoping you don't step in a puddle of spilled beer and fry your tiny testes. By the way, if you're betting this game, I would highly recommend buying at least a 1/2 point if not a full point to knock the spread down to 7 or better just in case. Packers 28-20.

Giants +7.5 over COWBOYS: Have you ever gotten a date with a really hot chick that is so far out of your league you can't even believe she gave you her number. Maybe the first date is going pretty well, but you know that there's no way this is really going to happen so you're just kinda of enjoying the fact that everybody in the place is just assuming she's out with you because you're hung like fucking whale. Then at the end of the night you get that kiss and second date and you start thinking this girl has to be either blind or fucking insane. A few days later things still seem too good to be true and you're starting to think maybe she just has a thing for skinny white boys with mullets and it's around this time that she inevitably drops the "maybe we should just be friends" line out of nowhere and bursts your balloon. Well that's what it's like betting on Eli Manning this year. The only question is is this the week that she comes to her senses and drops your sorry ass or does she have one to many glasses of wine and lets you take her shirt off. I don't know, but Manning is 8-1 on the road this year(with their one loss coming in week 1 at Dallas) and Eli has publicly stated that he is much more comfortable playing in warm weather(makes you kinda wonder why the fuck he forced the Chargers to trade him on draft day to the Giants. If I didn't like playing in cold weather I sure as hell wouldn't pass up San Diego for New York). Not to mention TO's hurt ankle and Tony Romo, Keith Whitten, and who knows who else coming off a weeklong gang bang in Mexico with Jessica Simpson and her dad. I'm uncorking another bottle of Yellowtail and going for boobies. Giants 27-21.

Playoff Bets: 1-0

*Note: 5 out of 5 doctors recommend NOT following this advice. If you value your money at all, you should seriously consider NOT betting on the advice of an anonymous internet blogger.

It's Back

It's here. It's almost too soon. I've barely had time to recover from season one, but Bret Michaels is desperate for love, and there is another batch of hair-band whores ready to do anything, and I do mean anything, to be #3 in the threesome with Bret and that hard core bitch of a mistress Rock-n-Roll. So on Sunday, while you're on the sofa recovering from two drunken days of NFL playoff action, basking in the silvery glow of the television reflecting off of empty Rainier tallboys, use some of that last bit of energy to change the channel over to VH1 for the first episode of Rock of Love 2. This is what your mother was talking about when she warned you that TV would rot your brain, and it is glorious. Besides, what else are you going to watch? American fucking Gladiators?

Fuck, speaking of American Gladiators, that was fucking awful. I heard the bad reviews, but still I thought "Well of course its bad, thats what's going to make is so awesome." I was confident that it would be intensely entertaining, if only for the unintentional comedy. I was wrong, it is indescribably unwatchable. I couldn't even make it through the first episode. I tried though, god I tried. When I saw Hulk Hogan flexing and admiring his reflection in the camera lense while Laila Ali was talking I thought maybe. Then we got the contender introductions. The only possible explanation for these ridiculously sappy sob stories, is that they told these people they were actually going on Oprah. I still had hope though. After all, this had been a staple of my young television life. Even now, the reruns on ESPNClassic have aged gracefully and still offer an hour of solid entertainment and a time machine to simpler times. Then Hulk began interviewing contenders without questions! I don't know if this is an effect of the writers strike or not, but holy shit, every time Hulk opened his mouth I cringed. By the time we lost a contender to injury(in fucking powerball no less! at least go down in something cool like joust or breakthrough and conquer) and had to listen to her bawl about letting her kids down, I had given up all hope. I stuck around long enough to watch a gladiator go down to injury as well before turning it off and canceling all future tivo recordings.

That being said, I would still do dirty dirty things to Crush.

Edit: MMA Takedown has the photos from Gina Carano's (aka Crush) recent Maxim shoot

Penguins Flying High

See what I did there? It's funny because Penguins can't actually fly.

Other than the Winter Classic, I haven't mentioned the Penguins much the last few months, partly because they hadn't been playing all that well, and partly because there were more exciting things going on, like the NFL and the red-hot Blazers. But the Steelers...well we know what happened to the Steelers, and the Blazers streak ended(although after losing the one, they have since won 3 straight again). But the Pens have a bit of a hot streak going as well. Back on December 7th, Pittsburgh goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury left the game in the first period after suffering a high-ankle sprain and many wondered if the Pens, who were already playing below expectations, were in trouble. The Pens however, weren't going to let this get them down, and have since won 10 of 14, including 7 straight. While a big part of that has been their great offensive play, we expect that. With young skaters like Sidney Crosby(last years MVP and this years assist leader), Evgeni Malkin, and Jordan Staal, we know the Penguins can score points. But now we can add goaltending to the list of things the Penguins are kicking ass at, namely because of Ty Conklin, who in just his first year in Pittsburgh, won again last night, beating the Panthers 3-1. With the win, Conklin improved to 8-0 in games he's started this season, and Pittsburgh improved to 42-24-16, just one point behind New Jersey in the Atlantic division. For the season, Conklin has allowed just 1.88 goals per game (compared to Fleury's 2.9 and Dany Sabourin's 2.69) and maintained a .941 save percentage(compared to .902 and .904 for Fleury and Sabourin).

This just in: The Big 10 is still no good

And in future news, Ohio State is ranked #1 in the 2008 preseason college football rankings. When will they ever learn.

I'll be honest, after OSU opened up a 10-0 lead early in the first quarter, I was a little worried about the beer money I had riding on the game. Was it possible that LSU was even more overrated than OSU? Was this LSU team going to collapse under the pressure of playing from behind with the National Title on the line? Ummm, nope. An interception and a blocked field goal and 31 unanswered points later and the Buckeye's were all but done. Despite coming into the game as the nations top ranked team and the nations best defense, OSU once again suffered an embarassing Championship game loss at the hands of an SEC team. After last years 41-14 beat down by Florida, their 38-24 loss to LSU might not look so bad, but after a 24-10 halftime deficit, OSU was never even in the hunt, despite a garbage time touchdown at the end when they were down 21.

With any luck the polls will get the picture and OSU won't start 2008 off ranked #1, but I wouldn't count on it. As a bonus, the guys over at Fanhouse wondered What if the BCS ran the NFL?

That's all she wrote...

3 interceptions and a blown kick coverage led to an 18 point deficit in the second half for the Steelers, but even then the game came down to just a single play. A 4th-and-2 with less than 2 minutes left after 2 David Garrard picks(even Ike Taylor managed to not drop an interception, but destiny was only teasing us) allowed the Steeelers to take 29-28 lead. A stop here and the game is over. Unfortunately for Pittsburgh, the Jags line opened a big hole(with the help of some pretty blatant holding I might add) and Garrard went 32 yards for the first down to set up a Josh Scobee field goal that gave them the lead with just 37 seconds left. A Big Ben sack and fumble removed any chance for another 4th quarter comeback and for the first time in team history, the Steelers lost twice at home to the same team in the same season, in a gut-wrenchingly similar game to the one they lost to the Jags 29-22 just a few short weeks ago. With the victory, the Jaguars earned a date with destiny as they travel to Foxboro to take on the Patriots next week.

Despite the early and disappointing end to the Steelers season, they did manage to claim their fist AFC North title in 3 years. Pretty impressive for Mike Tomlin's first season as a head coach at any level of the game. Especially considering they also lost their offensive coordinator(Ken Whisenhunt) and offensive line coach(Russ Grimm) to Arizona. There were plenty of bright spots though, especially on offense. Like Ben's resurgence as a franchise quarterback despite 47 sacks(I guess we could've used ole Russ Grimm back) in the regular season. And Wille Parker leading the league in rushing before breaking his leg in week 16. They will need to address some serious concerns with the offensive line(likely about to get worse with the departure of Alan Faneca to free agency) in the offseason. The pass rush will also need some work, although they do have two promising rookie linebackers in LaMar Woodley and Lawrence Timmons who will only get better.

In the other playoff games, the Seattle defense almost blew the game as they let the Redskins erase a 13 point 4th quarter lead. Luckily they got the two touchdowns back with the help of a couple pick-sixes from Todd Collins and the Seahawks won 35-14(Did the Redskins lost by 21 points to honor Sean Taylor? we may never know) to stay alive in the race to Super Bowl XLII. They'll have to get past the Packers on the frozen tundra next week to do it though. The Giants picked up a win on the road behind a solid Eli Manning performance(I never thought I'd hear those words spoken about a playoff game) and will travel to Dallas to take on the Cowboys. Do you realize that Eli is 8-1 on the road this year? Maybe the Giants should build their home stadium somewhere else. In other "wait...they won it behind their quarterback?" news, the Chargers beat the Titans 17-6 despite only 42 yards rushing from Tomlinson. Philip Rivers 292 yards thru the air gave the Chargers their first postseason victory in 13 years.

If there is any bright spot to the weekend, it's that I went 3-1 in the picks, with the only loss coming from the Titans losing by 11 on a 10 point spread. Even the Steelers were able to cover the spread despite losing. We even won our money pick despite betting on Eli Manning in the playoffs.

And so it begins

Here come the playoffs! After just 17 short weeks, we are now just 11 games away from another long offseason with no football(unless you count 27 mock drafts a week from ESPN).

SEAHAWKS -3 over Redskins: As good as the Redskins have played over the last few weeks, playing at Seattle is a different environment. He's done a good job the last few weeks of not relying on Shaun Alexander too much, but will the Seahawks be able to keep it up in January when the pass game doesn't come as easy. There is talk of Holmgren retiring after the season(like most walruses, he just wants to relax on the beach and eat fish), so we'll see if he can go out with a bang.
STEELERS +3 over Jaguars: I'd be willing to guess that the Steelers have never been underdogs at home in the first round of the playoffs, but after the beating the Jags gave them a few weeks ago(and that was when they had Willie Parker) I'm surprised it's only a 3 point spread. The injury report for the Steelers is discouraging, with tackle Marvel Smith, DE Anthony Smith(no relation), Parker, and tackle Max Starks among the starters that won't be suiting up. In addition Troy Polamalu is doubtful and Ben and Allen Rossum questionable. Two years ago the Steelers snuck into the playoffs as a 6 seed and walked away with the Lombardi Trophy, partly by beating the Colts, who only a few weeks earlier had destroyed the Steelers in their regular season matchup. This time its the Jaguars they seek their revenge against, and despite being a 4 seed, their job looks to be significantly harder this year.
Titans +10 over CHARGERS: A month ago the Titans lost a heartbreaker in overtime to the Chargers and now they're 10 point underdogs? I think the Chargers probably win again but the Titans will keep it close.

Money Picks*

Giants +3 over BUCS: Eli Manning on the road, as underdogs, in January. This has about as much chance of success as one of the Spears sisters raising a well-adjusted child(exhibit A). Add to that the fact that Sean Salisbury and the rest of the ESPN analysts are talking up the Giants as an upset pick and I'm not sure why I'm still picking them, much less laying money on them. I do know this though, the Giants won in the Tecmo Super Bowl matchup despite only 118 yards and 2 interceptions from Eli. That's good enough for me.

*Note: 5 out of 5 doctors recommend NOT following this advice. If you value your money at all, you should seriously consider NOT betting on the advice of an anonymous internet blogger.

NFL Predictions Revisited

As you may remember, back in August I predicted the final standings for the entire NFL. Now it's time to look back and see how I did. Overall I only got 5 team records exactly right, but I was within 2 wins on nearly half(15 teams). I also managed to get 7 of 8 of the division winners right(missing the Bucs in the NFC South) and my Super Bowl winner(Chargers) is playing pretty good football right now. Unfortunately, thats where the good news ends. I didn't get a single wild card team right and my NFC Champion didn't even make the playoffs. If the Chargers can put together a miracle run and win the Super Bowl as predicted though, all will be validated. So yeah...I'm pretty much fucked. I can take slight consolation in the fact that Sports Illustrated had the Saints winning it all, and only correctly picked 4 division winners and 5 playoff teams.

In picking the games each week, I finished just 7 games under .500 for the season, meaning I was only slightly worse than a meth-addicted monkey flipping a coin. On the gambling picks we definitely left something to be desired, going just 30-38, including a 5-10 run at the end.

On to the prediction recaps...

AFC East

• Patriots: Actual Record: 16-0(Predicted Record: 12-4) - What happened? Randy Moss likes playing for a good team apparently. Spygate also let the Patriots play the "nobody respects us" card for most of the season, and the Patriots exceeded everybody's expectations. Plus the entire city of Boston sold their souls to the devil.
• Bills: 7-9(10-6) - The Bills were never able to get going. First they dealt with the devastating Kevin Everett injury and then various QB injuries. Marshawn Lynch had a great rookie year that was overshadowed by Adrian Peterson's even better one.
• Jets: 4-12(5-11) - Was pretty close on this one, other than I had the Dolphins finishing ahead of them. Whoops.
• Dolphins: 1-15(8-8) - Wow, seven wins off on this one and a Baltimore missed field goal away from being 8 wins off. Can't tell you what happened here. Only major injury was Trent Green, and there's no way he would've gotten them more than a couple more wins. The Dolphins just royally sucked it up this year. But the Big Tuna is in charge now, and it's time to clean house

NFC East

• Cowboys: 13-3(10-6) - Romo showed that he can play a full season of ball(while leading the league in smiles to boot) and the rest of the offense and the defense were good enough to bail him out when he made mistakes.
• Giants: 10-6(4-12) - Mostly the defense. Manning managed to put together a few more decent games than I would've expected. Tom Coughlin also managed to avoid his usual December meltdown. If Eli can hold up, they could easily get past the Bucs in round 1.
• Redskins: 9-7(6-10) - The Redskins were on pace until they got hot at the end of the season and won 4 straight. The loss of Sean Taylor probably allowed this team to come together and play like a team better than they have in the past. Seattle is a little worried about these guys right now.
• Eagles: 8-8(5-11) - Their schedule ended up being weaker than I expected, plus McNabb managed to make it through the season without a major injury and he played all but two games. Westbrook had another outstanding year

AFC North

• Steelers: 10-6(12-4) - Both the offensive and defensive lines struggled all year(KSK's Christmas Ape blames Sean Mahan), allowing for losses to shitty teams like the Jets and the Cardinals. As much as I'd like to say they're going to pull it together in the playoffs, it will probably be a short January for the Black and Gold
• Browns: 10-6(4-12) - Wow, I don't think anyone saw this coming. It was quite the year for Oregon State alumn from Scappoose, Oregon. Sara Jean Underwood scored the Playboy Playmate of the Year, and Derek Anderson pulled off a 10 win season for the Browns.
• Bengals: 7-9(10-6) - Mostly I forgot that the Bengals just aren't that good.
• Ravens: 5-11(9-7) - For one thing they waited a year to long to fire Billick. The quality of defense deteriorated more than I accounted for and was unable to offset the predictably inept offense.

NFC North

• Packers: 13-3(9-7) - Brett Favre. Between his amazing play this year and a more experience supporting cast, the Packers and the Cowboys easily separated themselves from the rest of the NFC. Makes me want to buy me some wranglers and split a cord of wood.
• Vikings: 8-8(8-8) - How bout that, I nailed this one. These guys played out pretty much as expected, with a solid run game and a mediocre and inconsistent passing game. And the exact same on defense as well. With the amazing play of Purple Jesus, expect Chester Taylor to be starting somewhere else next year. He's too good to be a backup.
• Lions: 7-9(6-10) - This was looking to be another ridiculously bad call when they were 6-2. Then the Lions we know and love showed up for the second half of the season.
• Bears: 7-9(9-7) - I don't know why I picked a team to finish above .500 when their QB depth chart is Grossman, Griese, Orton.

AFC South

• Colts: 13-3(11-5) - The Colts definitely didn't suffer any post-Super Bowl slump, and despite injuries to key players like Marvin Harrison and Dwight Freeney, became one of the few teams to improve their record after a Super Bowl win.
• Jaguars: 11-5(7-9) - Garrard played nearly mistake free ball all year and Fred Taylor managed to stay healthy. That and a suffocating defense has this team on a serious roll right going into the playoffs.
• Titans: 10-6(10-6) - Woohoo, got another one here. Despite playing in the toughest conference in the league, the Titans still managed to sneak out a wild card spot.
• Texans: 8-8(8-8) - Damn, two in one conference. Texans only won twice against playoff teams, but they are showing signs of improvement. By the way that silence is the sound of no one wondering why the Texans took Mario Williams instead of Reggie Bush.

NFC South

• Bucs: 9-7(4-12) - Who woulda thunk that a 37 year old QB and a 36 year old receiver would lead the Bucs to a division title. Until they lost two straight to finish the season, they were looking like serious trouble for the NFC contenders.
• Panthers: 7-9(8-8) - The Panthers probably consider this season a success considering the QB problems they had. They started Vinny Testaverde in multiple games for God's sake.
• Saints: 7-9(11-5) - No excuses for the Saints, if they can manage a 10-6 season and a trip to the NFC Championship game a year after Katrina they should have easily won their division this year. The Saints made me look like an idiot doubly this year as I picked them to win the Super Bowl and I started Drew Brees for most of the year on my dismal fantasy team.
• Falcons: 4-12(5-11) - Wow! The Falcons had about the worst year you can imagine with the Vick fiasco and then their head coach pulling a Nick Saban and announcing he was quitting by post-it note before the season was even over.

AFC West

• Chargers: 11-5(11-5) - 6 weeks ago it looked like my other Super Bowl pick was going to miss the playoffs too, then Norv saw some highlights from last year and decided to give LT a shot and the Chargers pulled of 6 straight and #3 seed in the playoffs.
• Broncos: 7-9(10-6) - Jay Cutler didn't have a bad year, but a shoddy defense doomed the Broncos.
• Chiefs: 4-12(10-6) - The usually strong AFC West was absolutely horrible this year. The Chiefs couldn't do anything all year.
• Raiders: 4-12(3-13) - Some people(I won't mention names) were convinced the Raiders were going to make a run at the playoffs this year. I wasn't convinced, but I would be curious to see what this team might've done if JaMarcus Russell hadn't held out during training camp.

NFC West

• Seahawks: 10-6(10-6) - This team could have been 12-4 if Holmgren hadn't tried to rely on a washed up Shaun Alexander so long.
• Cardinals: 8-8(9-7) - Like the Panthers, given the QB problems the Cardinals have got to be happy with a .500 season, especially with a new coach.
• 49ers: 5-11(4-12) - Rookie LB Patrick Willis was amazing this year, but a poor year from Frank Gore and the offense doomed this team from the start.
• Rams: 3-13(9-7) - Injuries to Stephen Jackson and the offensive line, combined with Marc Bulger playing like shit kept the Rams from doing anything, even in the poor NFC West.

R.I.P. 2007

Here's what you missed while you were drinking yourself into oblivion(New Years Eve) and recovering from a brutal champagne and whiskey hangover(New Years Day)

• Despite a career high 36 points from LaMarcus Aldridge, the Blazers were unable to extend their streak to 14 games Monday night and lost to the Jazz 111-101. Despite their 13 game win streak, the Blazers are still only 3-10 on the road, while the Jazz are 11-3 at home. The Blazers are in Minnesota tonight to take on the T-wolves in what will hopefully be their 4th road win of the year.
• Rock of Love with Bret Michaels and Shot at Love with Tila Tequila are back already for their second season so there will be no shortage of so-shitty-it's-awesome reality tv in 2008.
• Robbie Maddison set a new world record in Las Vegas for a distance jumped on a motorcycle. 40 years to the day after Evel Knievel crashed while attempting a 151' jump over the fountains at Caesars Palace, Maddison landed a 322' jump over a football field, breaking the old world record of 307'. Immediately after the first jump, Maddison decided to try again, and once again landed safely, but was unable to beat his first jump.
• In the NHL's first outdoor hockey game since 2003, the Penguins scored just 21 seconds into the game, but still needed a Sidney Crosby shootout goal to beat the Buffalo Sabres in Buffalo.
• Michigan proved once again it is the only Big 10 team capable of beating an SEC team in a bowl game when they beat Florida 41-35 in the Capital One Bowl. The nice thing about bowl games is that there are so many teams to follow, the public tends to rely on polls and the opinions of sports writers a little too much. This forces Vegas to push lines way out of whack to keep the betting even. This was a perfect case. All anyone remembers about Michigan this year is that they lost to App. State so the public gave them no chance against the defending champion Gators. At 10.5 point underdogs, Michigan was almost a sure thing. Since sure things aren't nearly as much fun though, I took it a step further and picked Michigan outright and despite their best efforts to throw the game away with red zone turnovers, Michigan finished on top and earned me a 3.3:1 payout.
• In another example of a mis-informed public giving us a great betting opportunity, we look at the Sugar Bowl between Hawaii and Georgia. This was one of the rarer cases of the public pushing the line toward the favorite. Everyone had convinced themselves that undefeated Hawaii got a raw deal by not getting to the National Championship game and were undoubtedly going to do to Georgia what Boise State did to Oklahoma last year and I got a great line of only 8.5 points.
• More on Hawaii. I know we all like to see these cinderella stories work out like they did last year with BSU, but lets be honest, that was a fluke. Yes Boise was good last year, but even against a seriously overrated Oklahoma team last year, they needed 3 trick plays and ALOT of luck to win that game. Hawaii this year was nowhere near as good as that BSU team and Georgia was an extremely good SEC team that snuck in under the radar this year(they had a legitimate claim to play the title game). Until the lesser conferences like the Mountain West start scheduling - and winning - non-conference games against the BCS conferences like the SEC, PAC10, Big 10, and even Big East, putting them in the National Championship game is like putting a JV team in against a varsity team in a high school state championship just because the JV team went undefeated against all the other JV teams.
• LSU by 4.5 points is the latest line in the title game next monday. I'll be seriously surprised if LSU doesn't roll over Ohio State by at least 10, and it'll probably be by at least 17.