The Sports Guy's on Tilt

Bill Simmons has fucking lost it. He's pulling out all the stops in an attempt to beat his wife at picking the NFL games. She smoked him last year and he chalked it up to a fluke. So he brings her back knowing deep in his heart that she can't beat him again, and guess what? She's beating him again. It's only Week 4 and he's panicking and doing crazy stuff like guaranteeing a 9-5 week while doing nothing but picking the home teams(except for his beloved Patriots and taking the Broncos with points against the Colts). He's been talking all year about how good Seattle is in the NFC and then won't even pick them as a measly 2 point favorite. He fell into the classic "The Cardinals are good on paper, they've got to be good on the field" trap and picked them to not only cover against Pittsburgh, but beat them by a touchdown. He's betting against Brett Favre and on the Browns. The Browns? I've been talking as much as anybody about how the Ravens aren't the team everybody thinks they are, but they can beat the damn Browns by 5 points. He's even sticking with his sunken sleeper pick Atlanta over the team he's one win away from switching his sleeper pick to. When the Falcons lose to the Texans on Sunday, you can bet on a "Texans are my new sleeper" article from Simmons next week. He's already down by 4 games to his wife, and he's lucky she's only picking 3 games different this week. For the record, he's still one game up on me, so really I have no room to talk. But I will anyway, because that's the beauty of the internet. I won't be held accountable for anything I say.

Non-NFL Related News!

Rumour(see how I put that 'u' in there? I think it spices it up a bit) has it that Portland Trailblazer #1 pick Greg "Gramps" Oden named his new pup Charles Barkley McLovin'(they've been enjoying alot of movies lately). Perhaps one of the coolest dog names ever.

In his first public appearance since finding out he'd needed microfracture surgery and would miss the entire season, Oden assured everyone that he did not hurt his knee playing Dance, Dance, Revolution, but admitted to owning the game. Joking with reporters, Oden claimed to be "19 going on 52" and was upbeat about his recovery, even saying he was hoping to improve his vertical to over 40" by the beginning of next season. Oden is still on crutches, but is already rehabbing the repaired knee in a pool and using a CMP machine to improve his range of motion.

Paying the [Bookies] Rent!

Steelers travel to the desert this weekend for a coaches reunion show against Ken Whisenhunt's and Russ Grimms redbirds. The Black & Gold is favored by less than a touchdown, which is nothing more than a sign of Vegas' continued enamoration with former canned soup stacker Kurt Warner. I'm not worried, Kurt Warner IS WHO WE THINK HE IS! Both teams will likely be missing their top receiver in Hines Ward(knee) and Anquan Boldin(hip), but I see that as hurting Arizona a whole lot more than it will Pittsburgh.

Last week was a rough week, and we only went 5-7-3 on the games, but we did manage a 2-2 on the gambling picks. We should have been 3-1 except the Redskins decided to play like pussies against Eli 'Fetus Head' Manning in the second half. This is the week where we should start seeing things making a little more sense. The good teams are starting to seperate themselves from the shit teams and we should get on a roll. I'm also gonna start occasionaly throwing out some fancy-ass bets like parlays and teasers and shit for the board. We're rolling with alot of road teams this week, and even a couple of the dreaded road dogs, so be careful. Without further ado, here they are. Home teams in CAPS.

Raiders +4 over DOLPHINS
BILLS +3.5 over Jets
Ravens -4 over BROWNS
COWBOYS -13.5 over Rams
LIONS +3 over Bears
Seahawks -2.5 over 49ERS
Bucs +3 over PANTHERS
CHARGERS -12 over Chiefs
COLTS -10 over Broncos

Season: 22-19-6

Gambling Picks*

Steelers -6.5 over CARDINALS
Packers -3 over VIKINGS
Texans -3 over FALCONS
Eagles -3 over GIANTS
Patriots -7.5 over BENGALS - Another bad line here, even before I found out Rudi Johnson was out this week. The Bengals non-existent defense is going to have a long long day.

4-team Teaser(note: all lines have been teased by 6 points)
Raiders +10 over DOLPHINS
Steelers -0.5 over CARDINALS
COLTS -4 over Broncos
Patriots -1.5 over BENGALS

Season: 4-6

* Note: 5 out of 5 doctors recommend NOT following this advice. If you value your money at all, you should seriously consider NOT betting on the advice of an anonymous internet blogger.

The Streak is Over!!

The USA Women's soccer team streak of games without a loss has ended at an amazing 51 games. USA fell hard to Brazil in this mornings semi-final match 4-0 after coach Greg Ryan made a controversial decision to start Briana Scurry at goalie instead of Hope Solo. Scurry hadn't played a full game in 3 months, and after giving up two goals in the first game, the much hotter(see below for comparison) Solo hadn't given up a goal in 300 some minutes. USA will play Norway for 3rd place on Sunday.

Briana Scurry

Hope Solo

Show Me The Money!!

Is the end in sight? According to new team president Frank Coonelly, the Pirates may be adding significantly to their historically low payroll, saying "we're going to do what it takes to turn this franchise into a winner." Don't expect any major increases immediately though, Coonelly also said he didn't see any reason to spend that kind of money now with their roster, but that "in terms of going forward, when the pieces are in place, and when adding payroll dollars at the major league level are going to put us over the top, that commitment is going to be there."

The Pirates had the fourth lowest payroll in the majors this year at just $38.6 million. It is by far the lowest in their division, trailing the next lowest, the Reds($69.1 million), by more than $30 million, and the Cubs($99.9 million) by more than $60 million dollars.

Last night, the Pirates, who seem to have been mailing it in the last few weeks, finally broke their season high 9 game losing streak against the Diamondbacks.

Drew Brees...Your Dead to Me!

Drew! get your ass over on the fantasy bench and try to figure out the difference between your receivers and the opposing cornerbacks. You're done, if you're lucky, you might get a second chance in a few weeks when Philip Rivers has a bye. But that's a big might considering you're just as likely to get negative points these days. Rivers! Get your goddamn helmet and get on the field. You're starting. I'm sorry it took so long. Even with your great performance Sunday, I went into Monday's game confident. After all, how could I not be. Drew Brees carried me to last years championship game. He had shown signs of improvement in Week 2, getting me a win. Here I was after Sunday's game, down by only 6 points. My opponent only had LenDale White playing. Surely Brees would have no trouble whatsoever outscoring White by 6 points. Not when you're playing at home with the love and support of all of New Orleans cheering you on. So much for that.

New Pirates GM

The Pirates have finalized the hiring of Cleveland Indians executive Neal Huntington as their new GM. He has been with the Indians since 1998, with alot of background in scouting and personnel evalution. That will be a nice change from Littlefield who's draft and trade decisions were the laughingstock of the league. No I'm serious, other GM's were literally laughing at him in meetings. This ESPN.com article reports that "Littlefield's failure to protect some top prospects and keep marginal ones led the Pirates to lose five of the top six picks in the 2005 winter-meeting draft, resulting in audible laughter in the New Orleans hotel meeting room." Jeebus man, he gets laughed out of a draft meeting by his peers and it takes two years to fire him?

Steelers improve to 3-0

In a rare Pacific NW sporting moment, Portland even got a Pittsburgh double header, with the Steelers playing the 49ers on Fox, while the Pirates played the Cubs on WGN. The Pirates got shutout 8-0, but the Steelers fared much better.

Pittsburgh dominated the 49ers to improve to 3-0 for the first time since 1992, during Cowher's first year as the head coach. After giving up some yards on the 49ers first drive, the Steelers locked down and held them to a field goal. That was the last time the 49ers would lead, as Allen Rossum took the following kickoff 98 yards for a Steeler touchdown. It was the first kick return for a touchdown by the Steelers in Heinz Field. Mike Tomlin continues to impress as the Steelers keep doing what they've always done best: Power running, Steel Curtain D, and efficient passing. Some bad news though, as Hines Ward left the game in the 3rd quarter after getting drilled by Mark Roman. He didn't play the rest of the game, but there has been no update as to his condition. Tomlin typically announces injuries on Tuesday, so we'll know more then.

In the other games, things settled down a bit from last week. Even though Houston didn't play very well and lost, they managed to hang with the Colts for most of the game. The Chargers and Broncos continued their woeful ways, and lost to GB and Jacksonville respectively. Big props to Brett Favre who tied Dan Marino's all-time TD pass record with a 3 touchdown performance. It was a huge day for other quarterbacks too, with an excellent performance by McNabb and the Eagles.

Less than a week after throwing himself in the spotlight by playing the race card for why he gets criticized more than other quarterbacks, McNabb lit up the Lions for 381 yds, 4 TD's and no picks. Take note McNabb, you notice how you're getting less shit this week? It's not because everybody finally realized they were treating you unfairly because you were black, and it's certainly not because of those ass ugly throwbacks you were wearing, it's because you finally played a decent game. You see how it works now?

Oakland also picked up their first win of the season, learning a few tricks from the Broncos loss last week. A well-timed timeout voided a game-winning field goal by the Browns. The Raiders blocked the next attempt to seal the win.

We're also nearing another Copperhouse milestone, as we close in on our 1000th visitor. As of this posting we're sitting at 997. So if you're reading this and confetti starts falling from the sky, it's because you're the lucky #1000. Either that or your house is falling apart around you, and you should probably quit dicking around on the internet and get your ass outside before you catch a chunk of sheetrock upside the head.

Week 3: Getting Our Money Back

Last week we got killed on all the picks, going just 7-8-1. This week, we're bouncing back big time.

JETS -3 over Dolphins
Lions +6 over EAGLES - This is a tempting one, the Eagles are 2-0 and probably looking to bounce back. I was really on the fence on this one until I saw the jerseys the Eagles will be wearing. There's no way the football gods allow the Eagles to win wearing these things. They're not even the Eagles colors! I'd rather rinse my eyes out with turpentine than watch 11 guys in those things running around the field. If you must watch this game, I suggest getting yourself a black and white TV.

STEELERS -9 over 49ers - This is big spread, but the 49ers have the worst passing offense in the league right now and are missing their best linebacker.
Colts -6 over TEXANS
Chargers -5 over PACKERS - This was a hard one to pick. As good as the Packers look and as bad as the Chargers look as of late, the Chargers are pissed after last week and LT is looking to get his fantasy numbers back up.
Vikings +3 over CHIEFS
RAIDERS -3 over Browns
Jags +3 over BRONCOS
Cardinals +7.5 over RAVENS
FALCONS +3.5 over Panthers
SAINTS -4 over Titans

Season: 17-12-3

Gambling Picks*

REDSKINS -3.5 over Giants
PATRIOTS -16.5 over Bills
Cowboys -3 over BEARS
Rams +4 over BUCS

Season: 2-4 (I told you not to follow my advice)

* Note: 5 out of 5 doctors recommend NOT following this advice. If you value your money at all, you should seriously consider NOT betting on the advice of an anonymous internet blogger.

Floyd Landis Banned!!

It's official, Floyd Landis has been stripped of his 2006 Tour de France title and banned from cycling for 2 years. Landis can still appeal to the Court of Arbitration for Sport. Regardless of the final decision, Landis has succeeded in aspect of his highly publicized, and very expensive case; He has shone the spotlight on many of the flaws in the current methods of drug testing and the incompetence of the French lab that has been at the center of so many doping controversies.

Drug Free Golf

Seven of the world's most prestigious golf organizations have announced an anti-doping policy that is set to begin in 2008. The organizations involved are the PGA Tour, European Tour, U.S. Golf Association, Royal & Ancient Golf Club, Augusta National Golf Club, PGA of America and the LPGA Tour. They will ban anabolic agents, hormones, stimulants, narcotics, beta blockers and masking agents, but will not adopt the more stringent World Anti-Doping Association list of banned substances, saying "we do not consider the substances in any way impactful as a performance enhancement."

It will be interesting to see who gets busted first, but it were me, I'd look pretty hard at Mickelson. Steroids have been shown to increase breast development in men, and Ole Lefty is pushing some solid B cup man boobs.

Talk Like a Pirate Loser Day

Apparently, International Talk Like a Pirate Day and a 3-2 lead in the 9th inning wasn't enough to get the win over the Padres last night as the Pirates reliever Matt Capps gave up a 3-run walk off HR to Scott Hairston with two outs. It was the Bucs fifth straight loss, including the third of this series. Arrrr!! Avast ye matey's, the ship be going down!!

Ummmm, WTF?!?!

I've never been one to judge people for their personal choices, especially concerning what they do in the bedroom. I fully support any and all nude photos of Vanessa Hudgens, Bai Ling, Lindsey Lohan, and just about any other sexy young starlet, but this might be taking my open-mindedness to the extreme. In case you were wondering, that is boxing great Oscar de la Hoya looking all stripperlicious in drag. Let me just go on record as saying that I think all scandalous sex photos should include at least a 1:1 ratio of sexy women(genetically speaking) to dudes.

What I think

OJ is fucked!! - I haven't followed this case too closely, because honestly, I just don't give a shit. Based on what I know of the case, it seems to me that if it wasn't OJ, the charges wouldn't be quite this extreme. Maybe a bit of a judicial make-up call going on here. Finding impartial jurors is going to be about as likely to happen as Britney wearing panties though.

Donovan McNabb needs to shut the hell up! - Maybe instead of worrying about playing the race card everytime you get criticized, you should start playing decent so you don't get criticized as much. The Eagles were one of the preseason NFC contenders, and now you're sitting at 0-2, due in no small part to your shitty play. The last few years of seen you hurt, playing like shit, or losing big games about 90% of the time. I'm not hearing much criticism of Vince Young this year because he's playing decent. Meanwhile, Eli Manning and Sexy Rexy can't get good press to save their lives, and until last year, even Peyton Manning got dogged for not being able to win the big one. Maybe it's less of a black/white thing, and more of a good qb/overrated qb thing.

Signing Leftwich was a good move - He can't do any worse than Harrington right now, and his style is much closer to Michael Vick's than Harrington's is, so the offense should mesh a little better under him. We'll have to wait and see if it's enough to get the Falcons back on the right track.

Signs of the Apocalypse: Part 1

The Texans, 49ers, Packers, Redskins, and Lions are 2-0. Meanwhile, two of the NFC Super Bowl favorites, the Saints and Eagles, along with the Rams are sitting at the bottom of the stack at 0-2.

Week 2 gets a little crazy!!

Week 2 is always fun. After Week 1, you start thinking you have a pretty good idea of where teams are, and you forget that every year a few teams come along and shit on your windshield. This time it was teams like Cincinnati, Seattle, and San Diego. Right now we're telling ourselves "alright, next year I'm definitely going to remember that it always takes 3-4 weeks for the teams to shake themselves out," but next year we'll probably do it all over again. We got blanked on the gambling picks this week, thanks to horrendous performances by the Saints, Seahawks, and Bengals -- 51 points to the Cleveland Browns?!?! I've seen Pop Warner teams that could've held Crennel's offense to under 35 points.

Week 2 also saw Denver and St. Louis continue their disappointing ways. Meanwhile, Pittsburgh is starting to look like they will blow the rest of the AFC North out of the water with ease, but they haven't been challenged too much yet. We'll see how they handle the Seattle, Denver, Cincinnati stretch in a couple weeks before we get too excited. But those three are going to have to play a helluva lot better than they did this week. Houston -- the Copperhouse sleeper pick of the year -- continued to look promising, and Green Bay stayed on track as well, as both teams improved to 2-0.

New England, coming off the Cameragate scandal of last weeks Jets game, came out last night and put an old fashioned beatdown onto the Chargers, playing the classic "Good team thats getting no respect" game.

So far, my two Super Bowl picks have managed to go 1-3 to start the season and both are looking pretty abysmal.

Win #500, Post #100

What better way to celebrate the Steelers 500th franchise win than with the Copperhouse Dance Party's 100th post. In their second dominating game in as many weeks, the Steelers took down the Bills without any trouble, beating them 26-3. Not only did Mike Tomlin look like a badass on the sidelines in his mirrored sunglasses, but he improved to 2-0 in his career as a head coach. I like the way he's doing it too, classic Steeler ball, relentless rushing and stifling defense. Playing in sweet throwback jerseys, Pittsburgh outgained the Bills 239 yards to 50 yards in the first half, but couldn't get into the endzone despite 4 trips into the redzone and took a 12-0 lead into halftime. Willie Parker put up 126 yards on 23 carries and Roethlisberger continues to play his usual efficient ball, going 21-34 for 242 yards and a touchdown. He also threw his first interception of the year. Through his first two games, Big Ben has 5 touchdowns, 1 interception, and 2 wins, compared to last year when he had 5 interceptions and no touchdowns or wins in his first two games.

Week 2 Picks

This week we're gonna do things a little different. Instead of only giving you my gambling picks, I am going to pick all the games against the spread, but I'll put my gambling picks at the end. The gambling picks will be the games that I feel represent a good betting value. Let's get things started. Like last week, home teams in caps, my picks in bold.

RAMS -3 over 49ers
Packers +1 over GIANTS
STEELERS -9.5 over Bills
Texans +6.5 over PANTHERS
JAGUARS -10 over Falcons
Colts -7 over TITANS
VIKINGS +3 over LIONS
Cowboys -3.5 over DOLPHINS
Jets +10 over RAVENS
Chiefs +11.5 over BEARS
BRONCOS -10 over Raiders
PATRIOTS -3.5 over Chargers
EAGLES -6.5 over Redskins

Season(10-4-2)

Gambling Picks*

Saints -3.5 over BUCS
Seahawks -3 over CARDINALS
Bengals -6.5 over BROWNS

Season(2-1)

* Note: 5 out of 5 doctors recommend NOT following this advice. If you value your money at all, you should seriously consider NOT betting on the advice of an anonymous internet blogger.

The Ladies Love the Black & Gold

A survey by Scarborough Sports Marketing has found that the Steelers have the largest female fan base. An impressive 34% of the women in the Pittsburgh market identify themselves as fans. Green Bay was second with just over 29%, and Buffalo, Cincinnati, and Kansas City round out the top 5. Although the study didn't report any statistics on the number of female fans who were large enough to actually play professional football, but judging by the other markets in the top 5, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say these are probably not 5'10", 120 lb leggy blondes with season tickets.

Pittsburgh also placed in the top 10 in fans who are men(#2, 35.1%), college graduates(#4, 17.5%), have at least one child in the family (#6, 23.8%), and percentage of fans between the age of 18-24(#7, 7.2%).

Back tomorrow with the weekends NFL picks.

Oden Out!!

It looks like the injury concerns over Oden going into the NBA draft earlier this year are panning out. After exploratory arthroscopic surgery this morning, Oden was found to have articular cartilage damage in his right knee and had to have microfracture surgery to repair it. Oden will be on crutches for up to 8 weeks and will most likely miss his entire rookie season. The Blazers team physician has said that the long term outlook for a full recovery is promising.

I'm glad I didn't spring for season ticets after the draft, this will definitely hurt the Blazers this year, especially since they traded Zach Randolph to the Knicks and now lack a significant physical presence on the inside. On the plus side, if he keeps going at this rate (wrist injury last year, tonsillectomy earlier this summer, now serious knee injury) the Blazers will be starting the bionic man at center in a couple years.

Everett's Prognosis Improves!

Yesterday Kevin Everett is voluntarily moved both arms and legs yesterday while partially awake. This prompted Dr. Barth Green from the University of Miami School of Medicine to say "It's totally spectacular, totally unexpected." As I stated yesterday, neurosurgeons tend to be pretty pessimistic about spinal cord injuries. So when Green says "Based on our experience, the fact that he's moving so well, so early after such a catastrophic injury means he will walk again," you can bet that Everett's situation is looking promising. Great news for Kevin and his family!

See Ya Frye-boy!!

It took less than two regular season quarters against a solid Pittsburgh defense for Browns quarterback Charlie Frye to lose his starting spot. After being sacked 5 times and intercepted once while throwing for only 34 yards in Sunday's loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers, Frye was benched in favor of Derek Anderson who didn't fare much better. On Tuesday, the Browns demoted him even further by trading him to the Seahawks. This will presumably move rookie Brady Quinn up to at least #2 in the depth chart.

UPDATE: Foxsports is reporting that the Seahawks received Frye for a 6th round draft pick. Pretty sure that means the Browns had to throw in a 6th rounder just to get Seattle to take him off their hands.

Headline News

Last night, former Pittsburgh offensive coordinator, Ken Whisenhunt lost his first game as head coach of the Arizona Cardinals in the second game of a Monday Night Football double header. In the first game, Cincinnati beat the Baltimore 27-20 thanks to 24 points off of 6 Raven turnovers. The late game was just as sloppy as San Francisco beat Arizona 20-17 despite being outgained 261 yards to 194 yards.

ESPN is reporting that number 1 overall pick, JaMarcus Russell, and the Oakland Raiders have agreed to a 6 year, $61 million deal, including $32 million in guaranteed money. It is the richest contract ever signed by a rookie.

The US Women's Soccer team managed a 2-2 tie against Korea in their opening game of the 2007 Women's World Cup. Heather O'Reilly scored in the 69th minute to tie the game after the Koreans pulled ahead with 2 second half goals. The American team extended their streak of games without a loss to 47 games. In the 2 1/2 years under coach Greg Ryan, the Women's team has yet to lose a game.

Buffalo Bills tight end/special teamer Kevin Everett remains in intensive care after sustaining a spinal cord injury in Sundays game against the Broncos. The teams orthopedic surgeon has said he is cautiously optimistic but that a full recovery remains highly unlikely. He warned that Everett, who is still on a respirator and in a deeply sedated state, is still very susceptible to life threatening blood clots, infections, and breathing failure. He is showing voluntary movement in his legs and has feeling in all his extremities. More will be known about the extent of the damage to the spinal cord over the next several days as the swelling in the spinal column goes down. I can say from personal experience however, that doctors are notoriously pessimistic concerning spinal cord injuries. So much can go wrong, that they don't like to get families and patients hopes up and tend to understate the chances for recovery. I'm not a doctor, but in any case involving the spinal cord, any sort of feeling and voluntary movement, especially this early in the recovery process is very promising. Our thoughts and prayers remain with Everett and his family.

In other, far less serious injury news, Portland Trailblazer center, Gregg Oden, the number 1 pick in this years NBA draft, will undergo exploratory arthroscopic knee surgery on Thursday after experiencing pain in his right knee. An MRI showed possible cartilege damage. This comes after missing most of the Blazers summer schedule due to surgery on his tonsils in July. Coming into the draft, injuries and future health were about the only concern about Oden. Hopefully he can get all of these problems out of the way before the season, but if we keep going like that, the Blazers will be starting the Bionic Man at center this winter.

Take a moment today to remember the victims of 9/11 and events of 6 years ago.

Weekend Recap

Pittsburgh won big in Cleveland, but unfortunately the Browns didn't put in Brady Quinn so that the Steelers D could put a few bruises on his pretty face. The Steelers won their 499th game in franchise history behind a career day by Roethlisberger. He only put up 161 passing yards, but made them count by putting a career high 4 in the endzone as the Steelers rolled over the Browns 34-7. The Black & Gold looked their usual selves, racking up 206 yards rushing and playing shut down defense, allowing just 46 yards rushing while picking up 6 sacks and forcing 5 turnovers.

A few minor surprises on the weekend, like my sleeper pick the Texans rolling over the Chiefs to the tune of 20-3. Minnesota destroyed Atlanta 24-3, continuing their strong defensive showing from last year. Brett Favre picked up his record tying 148th career victory as the Packers put down the overrated Eagles, and Oakland continued their woeful ways and watched as their usually strong defense gave up 36 points to the Detroit frickin Lions.

We are all hoping that Bills tight end Kevin Everett is OK after suffering a serious spinal cord injury in the second half of the Broncos/Bills game yesterday. He is apparently still in intensive care with at least partial paralysis. Best of luck Kevin, we're all pulling for the you.

In our three betting picks, we went 2-1, starting the year out in the green. We missed on the Broncos/Bills as Elam kicked a last second field goal and the Broncos won, but failed to cover the 3 point spread.

Picks for the week

If you have ever wondered "What's it like living in cardboard box?", or "What's it like having my thumbs broke because I owe Vinny the Italian Bookie money?", well wonder no more. All you gotta do is drop your life savings into a Bodog account and follow my betting advice.*

It's only week 1, so we're gonna take things easy and just do a couple bets that have some good lookin lines on the favorites. Home team in caps, my pick is bold.

Steelers -4.5 over BROWNS
SEAHAWKS -6 over Bucs
Broncos -3 over BILLS

* Note: 5 out of 5 doctors recommend NOT following this advice. If you value your money at all, you should seriously consider NOT betting on the advice of anonymous internet blogger.

About Damn Time!

That's right, more non-NFL related news today, deal with it. It seems that 6 years and 139 games below .500 just isn't good enough for the Pirates and they've fired GM Dave Littlefield. With just 3 weeks left in the season, Director of Player Development Brian Graham will serve as interim GM until a replacement is found.

Oh the blasphemy!

Day after the opening game of the 2007 NFL season between the two Super Bowl favorites, and the most exciting thing to mention is a college game. I feel like a bit of a traitor, but who can blame me. After watching the Colts destroy the Saints in the second half for a 41-10 win, I tuned into Sportscenter to see what else happened in the sports world and watched highlights of a arena football college ball game between #8 ranked Louisville against Middle Tennessee. It didn't take long to realize I watched the wrong game. Very first play of the game, Louisville's Brian Brohm tossed an 81 yard TD. But Middle Tennessee quickly responded, taking only 3 plays for Joe Craddock to let loose with a 79 yard TD of his own. Things didn't slow down as the first 5 minutes of the game saw 5 touchdowns. The game ended with Louisville winning 58-42 as the two teams combined for 13 TDs and nearly 1300 yards total offense.

Louisville, who came into the season with hopes for a national title shot, proved they still have the offensive firepower to do it, but giving up 42 points to the Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders certainly doesn't bode well for when the Cardinals have to face other contenders.

Copperhouse NFL Power Rankings

Time for the Copperhouse Power Rankings. These are strictly based on how strong I think the team is fundamentally, so they may not align with how I picked a team to finish the season.

1. Colts - Defending Champs, they gotta go here
2. Patriots - Dreamboat Brady has even more weapons this year
3. Chargers - Even with Norv Turner at the helm, this is a stacked team
4. Saints - easily the NFC favorite this year
5. Steelers - a muddled mess in 5-10, so I'm putting the black & gold at the top
6. Cowboys - If the good Tony Romo shows up, this team will be dangerous. Otherwise, they could be really bad
7. Seahawks - should be solid again
8. Broncos - Alot depends on Jay Cutler, I don't think he'll have any trouble
9. Ravens - Their defense isn't as good, but their offense should be better
10. Bears - Sexy Rexy just isn't very good most of the time
11. Bengals - No defense, their offense better put up a shit-ton of points
12. Jaguars - This is as good as place as any for them
13. Eagles - If McNabb can go a full season without getting hurt they could be good...and I'll be shocked
14. Titans - We'll see if Young can overcome the Madden curse and the sophomore slumps
15. Cardinals - Lots of talent, and finally a decent coach. Let's see if they are who we thought they were
16. Jets - If Pennington is healthy they'll be decent
17. Rams - Could probably be ranked a bit higher, but this'll do for now
18. Chiefs - They played better last year with Huard, but the load is still on LJ's shoulders
19. Bills - JP Lossman is good, Lee Evans is good, let's see what Marshawn Lynch can do
20. 49ers - Other than Gore, name one player on that team. I dare you.
21. Lions - Tatum Bell should help them out this year, but it's not enough
22. Giants - Coughlin and Manning both need to prove they don't need Barber. Good luck.
23. Vikings - Defense should be excellent. Young, no-name quarterback in Tavaris Jackson though.
24. Texans - New quarterback, but they still need a line to protect him. Defense needs work too
25. Packers - Favre looks better, but he's still 93 years old
26. Panthers - Carr should be an improvement, but will they take Delhomme out soon enough
27. Dolphins - Trent Green wasn't very good last year, and you don't get better switching QB's every season
28. Redskins - Just like Congress and everything else in DC, mostly useless
29. Falcons - Too much distraction and too much Joey Harrington
30. Browns - How long before they throw Brady in the mix? Too bad that won't help much
31. Bucs - Even in the mostly shitty NFC South, the Bucs won't compete
32. Raiders - I know, really going out on a limb here

Opening Day is upon us

On Thursday, the NFL season finally kicks off with a monster matchup between Indy and New Orleans. On Sunday the real action starts up and the Week 1 festivities will end Monday with a MNF double header showdown featuring a bigass AFC North death match between Baltimore and Cincinnati and a fight for the bottom of the NFC West between Arizona and San Francisco.

Unfortunately, the Capgun Bandit will miss most of Sunday's games. I've been waiting for the first Sunday of real football for months, and I can't think of many things I'd rather do than sit on my ass, eating junk food and drinking bloody marys and cheap beer. But there are more important things to do, like the annual Clackamas River Cleanup. I wouldn't feel right being inside living a life of sloth and gluttony when the sun is shining on nearly 8,000 lbs of trash on one of Portland's own steelhead and salmon rivers. This week I will limit myself to Thursday, Sunday night, and Monday to get my football fix, and spend Sunday morning and afternoon.

Bill Murray wasn't drunk, just a golfer

Bill Murray has explained his recent drunk driving arrest in Sweden while driving a golf cart. Murray said that when the police "asked me to come over and they assumed that I was drunk and I explained to them that I was a golfer." Now I've never golfed with Bill Murray, and I don't know how those crazy Hollywood types like to golf, but I've always been under the impression that golfing and being drunk kinda went hand-in-hand. I'm also pretty sure that that excuse wouldn't work for John Daly.