Week 17: Looking ahead to the playoffs

This week is pretty much a crapshoot. With only 5 games being played that have any playoff implications(7 if you count the Chargers and Steelers games as the 3/4 seeds still have not been determined), there will be alot of backups playing in the second halves of games. After I shit the bed again last week, it's going to take a miracle for me to get above .500 for the regular season and since there's no way I'm betting on 8 games this week, I am destined to finish below .500 on the money picks.

There's really no avoiding it now. In just a few days, the New fucking England Patriots are going to be 16-0. Goddammit, why does it have to be the Patriots? The sad part is that Eli and the Giants are probably going to come out and try and win this one, making it all the more embarrassing when they lose. That being said...

GIANTS +14 over Patriots: Only because its the right thing to do
Bengals -3 over DOLPHINS: Really? I'm supposed to spend more than 1.3 seconds even considering this game?
Bills +8 over EAGLES
BUCS -3 over Panthers
Jags -6 over TEXANS: Is this line right? I know the Jags are probably resting people, but come on
BEARS +2 over Saints: One of the few games with playoff implications. Saints need a win, a Vikings loss, and a Redskins loss. Maybe next year Saints.
BROWNS -10 over 49ers: Browns need a win and help after letting the Bengals beat them last week. They'll do their part.
Vikings -3 over BRONCOS: Vikings need a win and help to get in the party
Steelers -3 over RAVENS: No Ben, no Troy, no Silverback, no Fast Willie. I'll still give Chaz Batch 3 points against the Ravens in this rivalry matchup. The Steelers are 5-0 in division matchups so far and looking for a sweep.
Rams +6 over CARDINALS
Chargers -8 over RAIDERS: If the Chargers lose and the Steelers win, the Steelers will get the #3 seed and a much better playoff road. I hope I'm wrong on this one.
JETS -6 over Chiefs

Season: 112-118-12

Money Picks*

Betting on any of these games is seriously idiotic, but luckily for us, I'm an idiot. Plus we need to build up the bankroll for the playoff run.

Seahawks -1.5 over FALCONS: Did I miss the news that Seattle is starting Charlie Frye or something?
PACKERS -4.5 over Lions
Cowboys +9 over REDSKINS: Do you really think the Cowboys aren't going to try and spoil the Redskins playoff chances?
COLTS +6 over Titans: I think Vegas is over estimating the effect of resting a few starters for the higher seeded teams

Season: 28-36

*Note: 5 out of 5 doctors recommend NOT following this advice. If you value your money at all, you should seriously consider NOT betting on the advice of an anonymous internet blogger.