Shit's about to hit the fan

In just a few hours, the Mitchell Report on the investigation into performance-enhancing drugs will be released. I've already heard rumors this morning that Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte are named in it. This is gonna get interesting if there actually are big names on this thing other than Barry Bonds.

The Blazers are on a hot streak now, having won 5 in a row, including 2 rare road wins. Their last two wins also came without leading scorer LaMarcus Aldridge who is currently day-to-day with plantar fasciitis. Last nights win against Golden State in the Rose Garden moved the Blazers up to 10-12, just 4 games back from Denver. On Friday the Blazers will host the struggling Jazz who have lost 5 in a row, including a game to the Blazers Tuesday night in Salt Lake. An Oregonian headline today also announced that the Rose Garden is looking for a corporate partner to buy naming rights to the Rose Garden as well.

Now on to the good stuff. Tonight we get another exciting Thursday matchup with Denver traveling to Texas to take on Houston. Once again the NFL Network is hosing themselves by scheduling late season matchups that nobody cares enough about to travel to a bar to watch, much less pay money for the NFL Network to watch. This week though they will try to redeem themselves with a Saturday night game between two teams fighting it out for...aww fuck it, I'm not even going to try to make a Cincinnati/San Fran game sound exciting. Nice work NFL, the first year you try to make people pay for your channel and you come out blazing with both barrels with matchups like Bears/Redskins, Broncos/Texans, and Bengals/49ers. You'd be hard pressed to get me to watch these games if I had the channel for free.

Sunday we get some better games(on free channels no less...fuck and yeah). Games like the Patriots and Jets. You might be thinking that this game isn't not worth watching because it will just be a blowout, but theres several reasons to watch. 1) because Brady and Moss might break every single game passing/receiving record set in a single afternoon. 2) Since they're playing in New England, when the Jets are on the field you will hear the loudest 'boos' in the history of sporting events. and C) To see the post-game Belichick/Mangini handshake that could very well end in a Mortal Kombat style fatality with Belichick ripping Mangini's arm completely off and giving it to Brady who launches it 40 yards, piercing Mangini through the eye-socket. Belichick will then release the secret video tape of the incident onto YouTube.

Last week we had another solid week, pulling in an 11-5 record overall and a solid 3-1 in the money picks. That makes me just one game below .500 overall for the year. Since my week 10 debacle of 2-12, I've put up a pretty solid record of 39-24-2 and 9-5 in the money picks. Now you might think that makes me due for a little confidence correction where I go 3-13 or something, but you'd be wrong. This week we go above .500 in the overall picks and the money picks. I guarantee it.*

Broncos -1 over TEXANS: I think the Broncos are getting a pretty good line here after the Texans impressed everybody against the Bucs last week.
49ers +10 over BENGALS: The Bengals don't deserve 10 points against the Dolphins, but seriously, who really gives a fuck about this game?
SAINTS -3.5 over Cardinals: Anytime you're picking a Saints game against a halfway decent team, just go ahead and flip a coin.
STEELERS -3.5 over Jaguars: The Steelers haven't lost at home yet, and this is pretty much a must win game for them going into a short week and a Thursday road game. No Aaron Smith is going to hurt the run defense, but they'll get it done.
BUCCANEERS -13.5 over Falcons: Talk about a rough week for the Falcons. Vick goes to jail, they lose an ugly Monday Night game, and their coach tells them he's quitting with a 4 line letter. Thats like junior high break up shit right there, I guess they're lucky he didn't text them or have a friend tell them while he hid in the parking lot.
PATRIOTS -23.5 over Jets: This is going to be better than watching crocodiles hunt gazelles on Animal Planet
Bills +6 over BROWNS: This is a little bit of wishful thinking on my part, but it's not completely out of the question
Seahawks -7.5 over PANTHERS: Seahawks are back on track, they could be an interesting matchup in the playoffs
Lions +11 over CHARGERS: This is not the last road underdog I'm picking. Sorry.
COWBOYS -11 over Eagles: This is actually a tough one with this many points. The Eagles have lost 3 in a row against playoff teams that they should have won. If the Cowboys weren't looking to make a statement after almost losing to the Lions last week, this would be upset city.
Bears +11 over VIKINGS: Kyle Orton baby, could almost be Sexy Rexy's twin. He also plays like Rex...only not as consistent.

Season: 99-100-11

Money Picks**

Packers -10 over RAMS: The Packers are starting to act like the Patriots in the first half of the season. They are winning and covering everything.
Ravens -3.5 over DOLPHINS: One 0-14 coming right up
Titans -4 over CHIEFS: Titans are fighting to get that playoff spot, and Arrowhead hasn't been as hard as usual to play in this year
Colts -10.5 over RAIDERS: This is the last road favorite I'm picking, I promise
GIANTS -4.5 over Redskins: Oh man am I going to regret this. I don't have the numbers, but I think Eli has already won more December games this year(2) than the rest of his career combined. The collapse is imminent.

Season: 25-28


* I don't actually guarantee it
** Note: 5 out of 5 doctors recommend NOT following this advice. If you value your money at all, you should seriously consider NOT betting on the advice of an anonymous internet blogger.