Heinz Field, Here We Come!

The Bandit and the Lieutenant are making their virgin pilgrimage to the Ketchup Mecca this weekend to see the Steelers and the Brown battle it out for the AFC North title. I know Browns fans are all excited. Just because you've won a few games against mediocre teams doesn't change the fact that the Steelers handed you a 34-7 opening day loss. That loss was just the latest of 8 straight losses the Browns have suffered at the hands of the Black & Gold, and you can expect that number to be 9 by Sunday night. If you want a little more history, the Browns have won only once in the last 15 tries. Thanks to Ryan for the video preview of Sunday's game. I should have some photos to post on Tuesday.

Luckily we'll all get a well-needed respite from the still-undefeated Patriots as they use their bye weekend to sacrifice some Boston-area virgins to the devil as payment for their come-from-behind victory over the Colts last week. We'll have to see how long they keep it up, they must be running out of Boston virgins. There were only 17 of them to begin with and I'm pretty sure the Red Sox and Celtics have used a few of those already. So while we're down to only one undefeated team, we still have two defeated teams making a push to improve on the 1976 Buccaneers standard of inferiority as the only team to not win a game in a season. What's even more exciting is that since these two teams don't play each other this year, we might very well see both teams go 0-16.

I got back to my losing ways again last week, going just 5-9 but managing a 2-2 on the money picks, with the teaser once again failing me.

Bills -2.5 over DOLPHINS - I am officially more interested in whether a team can go winless this year than I am if the Patriots can go undefeated
SAINTS -11.5 over Rams - Ditto. Plus the Saints seem to have found their stride and are rolling over opponents like(insert hurricane joke here)
STEELERS -10 over Browns - Before you start thinking this spread is too high, remember the Browns wins have come over opponents with a combined 10-26 record and not one team that is currently above .500
REDSKINS -2.5 over Eagles - The Redskins are still in the hunt for the NFC East at 5-3, but they're gonna have to get alot better on offense to overtake the Giants and the Cowboys
Vikings +6 over PACKERS - Jesus walked on water, Purple Jesus shouldn't have any trouble with the Frozen Tundra
Broncos +3 over CHIEFS - the "meh, whatever" game of the week
RAVENS -4 over Bengals - Until 30 seconds ago I had the Bengals, but it doesn't matter. Even the Bengals and Ravens fans will be watching the Giants/Cowboys matchup
RAIDERS +3.5 over Bears - When do we get to see Kyle Orton?
Colts -3.5 over CHARGERS - The Colts won't be able to pipe crowd noise into this stadium, but luckily for them Norv Turner still doesn't realize he has LT on his team
49ers +10 over SEAHAWKS - Until the Walrus proves he can think about something other than where his next bucket of smelt is coming from I can't pick them. Especially not as 10 point favorites

Season: 58-62-9

Money Picks*

PANTHERS -4 over Falcons - Vinny's back!! maybe
TITANS -4 over Jaguars - The Titans are 6-2 despite Vince Young really not doing much. If he gets his mojo back, watch out
Lions -1 over CARDINALS - After a promising start, the Cardinals are back to normal. The Lord's Team continues along towards a divinely inspired 10 wins
GIANTS +2 over Cowboys - Two of the few bright spots in a very mediocre NFC. Giants look for revenge after their week 1 shootout loss

Season: 16-19

* Note: 5 out of 5 doctors recommend NOT following this advice. If you value your money at all, you should seriously consider NOT betting on the advice of an anonymous internet blogger.