Weekly News Update

Some of this weeks news highlights...

Simpson gets Naked

No, unfortunately I'm not talking about Jessica, or even Ashley. Nope, instead badboy Bart is apparently showing off his golden rod in the upcoming Simpson's movie. I've gotten more than a couple spam messages advertising naked pictures of various cartoon characters, but it seems that Hollywood is bringing animated nudity into the mainstream. Apparently this will not keep the movie from getting a PG-13 rating. I can't wait to hear the family values crowd weigh in on this one.

Wait...Ducks have penises??

Male and Female ducks are evolving increasingly complex sexual organs in a battle of the sexes. Researchers have found that female ducks have developed corkscrew-shaped oviducts with lots of dead ends in an apparent attempt to control the paternity of their offspring. In response, the Males have developed spiral penises, but managed to screw it up(haha, get it?) since the penis spirals in the opposite direction. Lets hope human girls don't get any ideas, it's hard enough trying to find the g-spot as it is.

Brotherly Love

So some Indian guy(dots, not feathers), got hammered before his wedding, so the bride's family chased him away. Not to worry though, as the family then invited the groom's younger brother to step in as a replacement. The brother agreed and the wedding went on as planned. The original groom is now upset and worried that he won't find another bride. Don't worry about it man, I'd say you came out on top. If you don't believe me, ask your brother in a year or so.

Tunnel to Russia

The idea of a inter-continental tunnel between Alaska and Russia is getting some renewed enthusiasm. Walter Hickel, a former Alaska governor and interior secretary under President Richard Nixon is making a push for the $65 billion project. At 68 miles long, the tunnel would be more than double the length of the Chunnel between Britain and France. The tunnel would be used to transport cargo by train between Russia and North America. At least the tunnel would go somewhere, unlike Alaskan Senator Ted "the pipes are clogged" Stevens "Bridge to Nowhere" of a few years ago.