Sid the Kid the Captain

Just over a week after the Penguins two prodigal teenage talents took home the NHL's Player of the Year(Sidney Crosby) and Rookie of the Year(Evgeni Malkin) Awards, Sid the Kid added another accolade to his already impressive resume. Already holding the NHL records for youngest player to score 100 points in a season and to win a scoring title, Sidney, still over two months away from his 20th birthday, will now also have the distinction of being the youngest player to be named team captain. Back in January, the Penguins offered Crosby the captain's C, but with the season still in progress and the Penguins trying to make the playoffs, Sidney didn't feel the timing was right. Today, after discussing the idea with team veterans Mark Recchi and Gary Roberts, Sidney accepted the responsibility of team captain.

UFL: The next NFL or XFL version 2

Bill Hambrecht has decided he will be the next entrepreneur to attempt to break through the NFL's near-monopoly on professional football in America. Hambrecht and his partner Tim Armstrong have decided to start up a rival league, the United Football League, and plan to begin playing games in the fall of 2008. The two men have decided on Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and Mexico City as team sites so far. I doubt it's a coincidence that they have picked large sports markets that, as of now, do not have an NFL team. Los Angeles has been trying to get a team back to the City of Angels since they lost the Rams and the Raiders. All of the Big 4 leagues in US sports(MLB, NHL, NBA, and NFL) have been hesitant in the past to grant Las Vegas a team because of the gambling, despite a number of investors that are interested. Mexico City successfully hosts an NFL game each NFL preseason and definitely has the infrastructure for a professional team.

So far however, Hambrecht and Armstrong have only managed to arrange for one owner: Mark Cuban, who is, not surprisingly, interested in the team in Las Vegas. Cuban, who also owns the NBA's Dallas Mavericks, will no doubt be willing to spend the money to make the UFL a success, but whether it will be able to compete with the most successfull sports league in the country remains to be seen.

Some of you may remember the XFL from a few years back. The XFL, the brainchild of the WWE's Vince McMahon, was an 8 team league that attempted to compete with the NFL with what it called "real football." Promising a more fan-friendly experience, the XFL offered fewer personal foul and roughing penalties and fewer rules overall. Along with smack-talking announcers, cameras in the huddles and locker rooms, and best of all, cheerleaders wearing as few as clothes as possible. After playing just one season, the XFL folded.

Vinny Auction Finished!

The V-Bay Charity Auction is finished, and after a quick recount, a total of $3,857 was brought in for the Vincent's Hope fund. All proceeds will go to either help Vincent's parent's pay his medical bills or to research being done on Canavan's Disease. Vinny and his parents would like to thank all who bid on and/or donated items.

Blazers Win Lottery!

Hot Diggity! A year after having the worst overall record and having to settle for the number 4 pick in the 2006 draft, the Portland Trailblazers overcame their lowly 5.3% odds and cashed in on the NBA Lottery receiving the number one overall pick in next months draft. This will give them the opportunity to pick up either Greg Oden or Kevin Durant. With last years drafting of Rookie of the Year Brandon Roy, this will give the Blazers a chance build on their already solid, although extremely young, nucleus of talent. As it just so happens, the two biggest holes in the Blazers game this year were at small forward(Durant) and center(Oden). Personally I think Durant would be a better choice right now, as he'd give the Blazers another option for backcourt scoring besides Brandon Roy and fill a more immediate need, but at the same time, a center with as much upside as Oden doesn't come around too often. It's tough to go wrong on this one. In addition to the basketball talent both of these players would bring to the team, they're both extremely marketable for the team and the league which will hopefully bring alot more support to the Blazers from the community.

Not surprisingly, several teams have been shopping around for a trade with Portland to get the first pick, but GM Kevin Pritchard seems set on holding on to the pick, saying "I don't think anything is iron-clad, but I think these guys are really special. This is a real-deal draft."

MPAA to use smoking content to rate movies

So it seems that the MPAA is going to start looking at smoking in the movies as one of the factors to give it an 'R' rating, saying it influences kids to start smoking. This is a great idea, but we need to take it even farther. We also need to rate movies 'R' for any appearances of fast food restaraunts(don't want our kids getting fat), videogames(we all know how playing video games causes violence and especially school shootings), SUV's(hello, global warming anybody). While we're at it, we should probably do it for any movie that shows baseball, or any professional sport for that matter, since this will likely cause kids to start using steroids. This is just a few, but it's a start. If we work hard enough, in a couple years we won't have to teach the kids anything about personal responsibility and good choices. Of course people that already have kids are screwed, they've been watching these things in movies since they were 7 years old so they destined to become obese, chain-smoking, environment-destroying, murderers with 'roid rage. At least they'll be able to sue corporate America in a few years for all their problems.

Bucs Win Another!

The Pirates continued their offensive rejuvenation last night, beating Florida 7-0 behind another solid outing by Tom Gorzelanny. The Pirates(17-20) have now scored 20 runs in their last 2 games, after scoring only 20 runs in their previous seven games, a stretch which saw them go 2-5. The last two games also mark only the second and third time this season Pittsburgh has scored 7 or more runs, the first time coming against the Dodgers back on April 22. Freddie Sanchez, last years NL batting champ, is finally starting to get a little wood on the ball, going 7 of 11 over the last two games to raise his season average to .283.

The Bucs face the Marlins again tonight in the second game of a 4 game home series against Florida.

V-Bay Charity Auction

We are running a charity auction for Brian Warden's son Vinny over at V-Bay with lots of cool books, fly-fishing gear, and some other miscellaneous stuff. All the items have been donated, and all of the proceeds go to either the Vincent's Hope Fund, or the UMDNJ/Cooper Hospital fund for Paola Leone.

Vinny is three years old and has an extremely rare neurological disorder called Canavan Disease. For more information, please visit V-Bay

Good ole Al Sharpton is in the news again. Apparently, his strive for an end to bigotry only applies to when it's African-Americans being discriminated against.

In a debate with athiest author Christopher Hitchens, Sharpton reassured viewers that "As for the one Mormon running for office, those who really believe in God will defeat him anyways, so don't worry about that; that's a temporary situation"

Mormon Presidential candidate Mitt Romney objected to the comments. "It shows that bigotry still exists in some corners," said Romney, "I thought it was a most unfortunate comment to make."

Sharpton, fired back, accusing Romney of a "blatant effort to fabricate a controversy to help their lagging campaign."

Sharpton is criticizing someone for creating controversy for political gain? That's a bit like the pot calling the kettle black(whoops, I mean African-American) isn't it?

Civil Rights and equality in this nation will take a giant leap forward the day Sharpton shuts his fucking mouth.

Glued Naked to an Exercise Bike?

Well I guess it could be worse. In South Africa, he's lucky they didn't kill him

A gang of armed robbers forced a man to strip naked and then glued him to his exercise bike and sealed his lips with more glue while they ransacked his house, according to a published report.

Kobus van Deventer, 50, was left stuck to the bike with super-strong glue for three hours until he was rescued by his girlfriend...

...the robbers ransacked van Deventer's house and safe while “helping themselves to Chivas Regal and the like.”

Nowitzki for MVP?

After 5 games of being dominated by a smaller, less talented team, the Mavericks were in a must-win situation on the road at Golden State last night. Down 3-2 in the series, a win would tie the series and take the teams back to Dallas for the deciding game seven. A loss would hand the Warriors the NBA's first ever series win by an 8th seed over a one seed in a seven game format. This was it; this was the time for Nowitzki to shine. To cement his status as the NBA's Golden Child, Nowitzki would need to prove he was the same player that led the Mavericks to 67 wins during the regular season. Surely this perennial All-Star, and likely 2007 MVP, would step up and lead his team to victory. Even if he had to score every point himself, Nowitzki was going to dig down deep and find the grit and determination to carry his team on his back and emerge from Oakland victorious. There was no doubt, because thats what MVP candidates do...they win the games they have to win, no matter what.

So with the season on the line, Nowitzki shot 2 of 13 from the field and finished the game with a measly 8 points as the Warriors won by 25 points, an NBA record for an eighth seeded team over a one seed.

Instead, it was Stephen Jackson that looked like the MVP. It was Stephen Jackson, the former Indiana Pacer and infamous bad boy, who led his team to an unlikely first round victory. With Baron Davis hampered by a tender hamstring, it was Jackson who stepped up and delivered a playoff career-high 33 points on 10 of 19 shooting and franchise record seven 3-pointers.

Roy for R.O.Y.

Congratulations to Trailblazer Brandon Roy who was announced today as the 2007 NBA Rookie of the Year. Roy captured 127 of the 128 first place votes in a vote that was merely a formality after Roy's spectacular season with the struggling-but-improving Blazers.

Weekly News Update

Some of this weeks news highlights...

Simpson gets Naked

No, unfortunately I'm not talking about Jessica, or even Ashley. Nope, instead badboy Bart is apparently showing off his golden rod in the upcoming Simpson's movie. I've gotten more than a couple spam messages advertising naked pictures of various cartoon characters, but it seems that Hollywood is bringing animated nudity into the mainstream. Apparently this will not keep the movie from getting a PG-13 rating. I can't wait to hear the family values crowd weigh in on this one.

Wait...Ducks have penises??

Male and Female ducks are evolving increasingly complex sexual organs in a battle of the sexes. Researchers have found that female ducks have developed corkscrew-shaped oviducts with lots of dead ends in an apparent attempt to control the paternity of their offspring. In response, the Males have developed spiral penises, but managed to screw it up(haha, get it?) since the penis spirals in the opposite direction. Lets hope human girls don't get any ideas, it's hard enough trying to find the g-spot as it is.

Brotherly Love

So some Indian guy(dots, not feathers), got hammered before his wedding, so the bride's family chased him away. Not to worry though, as the family then invited the groom's younger brother to step in as a replacement. The brother agreed and the wedding went on as planned. The original groom is now upset and worried that he won't find another bride. Don't worry about it man, I'd say you came out on top. If you don't believe me, ask your brother in a year or so.

Tunnel to Russia

The idea of a inter-continental tunnel between Alaska and Russia is getting some renewed enthusiasm. Walter Hickel, a former Alaska governor and interior secretary under President Richard Nixon is making a push for the $65 billion project. At 68 miles long, the tunnel would be more than double the length of the Chunnel between Britain and France. The tunnel would be used to transport cargo by train between Russia and North America. At least the tunnel would go somewhere, unlike Alaskan Senator Ted "the pipes are clogged" Stevens "Bridge to Nowhere" of a few years ago.

NHL Awards Finalists Announced

In hockey news, the NHL announced the finalists for it's major awards today. Penguins nominated for awards include:

Calder Memorial Trophy(outstanding rookie) - Jordan Staal and Evgeni Malkin
Hart Memorial Trophy(mvp to his team) - Sidney Crosby
Jack Adams Award(outstanding coach) - Michel Therrien
Lester B Pearson Award(most outstanding player as voted by NHLPA) - Sidney Crosby

Check out ESPN.com for the complete list of finalists